Category Archives: Justice

Community Matters: Ibby Han

Like Lisa, I met Ibby as part of the organizing from the summer of hate. Ibby was and is still a relatively young human. As I said in her introduction last night, she is one of the most gifted facilitators I’ve ever experienced. When I’m in a planning session or a meeting, and I want reassurance that it’s well-planned and organized, I look for certain people; Ibby is one of them.

Ibby wanted to speak on two topics that both came under the umbrella of Mutual Aid: Street Medics and CHIDA. Street Medics are people who provide immediate first aid care during actions and/or rallies. Actions and rallies have health risks inherently built in. They can have large numbers of attendees, face police interference and brutality, and be in extreme weather. Street medics are there to provide immediate care without being entered into the system.

CHIDA has been meeting Greyhound buses filled with asylum seekers released from detention from near the Mexico/US border. Migrants are released from incarceration with nothing but the clothes on their back and sent to their sponsors as far away as Maine or Connecticut. About 60 migrants a day, 7 days a week were moving through Charlottesville. CHIDA made sure that they were able to select water, coats, and snacks. Ibby estimates that 15,000 migrants were assisted in the past year. With the border closed, there is reduced need to provide this support.

Major takeaways from Ibby’s talk included:

  • Even with the very short layover with the Greyhound bus, it was important to employ radical consent– the idea that you do not do onto people, but that you work in solidarity with people. Rather than thrusting a bunch of objects onto people, asking what their needs are, and providing them the opportunities to choose allows them agency.
  • There is so much trauma around A12 for our community, and yet it also brought us together in community. There were 6 people in the room last night that I would not know but for the organizing around that time, and the year after– and they are people who I consider to be integral parts of my trusted community. I don’t think you have to have trauma to build organizations and solidarity, but it sure jumpstarts the process.
  • Ibby was talking about not having a line item on her resume for her community work. I giggled in my head, because I now included it. There’s two reasons; the first, community building was pretty much my full time job both summers 2017 and 2018. I wanted to account for that time spent. The second reason is that at this point I don’t want a job that doesn’t value, or at least see, those skills. To feel that I can include it on my resume is a privilege, and yet also a risk. Below is the text so you can see how I framed it:

Community Builder: Anti-Racism Efforts in Charlottesville 2017-present

Worked with a wide range of community members to safeguard our community against the white supremacist rallies of the summer. Partnered with members of SURJ, BLM, Congregate Cville and BSA, as well as mental health professionals, legal representatives, business owners and other stakeholders to prepare for an unpredictable threat against the community. Created and distributed educational materials, facilitated meetings between community members, and communicated concerns with University and City officials. Facilitated resource and fund distribution to people affected by the white supremacist attacks. Designed and taught Anti-Racism course to activate white people to incorporate anti-racist actions into their daily life.

Community Matters: Schedule

For more information about how we got here: click here.

For information about each presenter, click on the link of their project. For my reflections on their presentation, click on their name.

Calculating Risks in Service of Equity and Justice

Many people feel stuck when considering taking action because of fear and undefined/ill-defined risk. If privileged people can identify where our reserves and resources are, and what risk we take on, we can be more expansive and effective in our social justice work. Thinking through risk helps us to expand our diversity of tactics. Sometimes the imagined consequences of new actions are more than the actuality.

N.B. I know that many people do not have the privilege and luxury of calculating risks. I see and honor the work of People of Color, particularly Black Women, who have been leading in this work for generations. This post is written to encourage those reluctant in their privilege to begin taking more risk to build the world that we want to see.

Social Risk

Social risk happens when we feel like our families, friends and/or group isn’t going to like or accept us any more because of new and/or political stances or actions. I think that this is the silent killer of action. When you begin voicing different opinions, or stand up to your identity, you may be afraid that relationships can end. That is hard; particularly if you already feel socially isolated. You’re able to take on more social risk when you feel confident in your breadth and depth of relationships. Social risk can look like bringing up taboo topics in conversation, sharing articles that have a political point of view, challenging wrong assumptions, or ending friendships that have or feel like that have social or other value. The bright side of ending relationships that don’t feel aligned with your social justice goals, is that it can open up energy and time for more supportive relationships. It can also be a risk to join new events/movements. It can feel that you’re not far enough on your journey to be able to join a new social justice event or movement. It’s okay. Meeting new people can be hard. Sometimes people can be welcoming and ready to invite you in. Sometimes people can be tired, and nervous about meeting a newcomer themselves, particularly if you’re joining the group after a traumatic event. When you’re new, it’s a good time to be a listener, learner, and your most authentic self, including practicing saying “thank you” and “I didn’t know”.

Physical Risk

Having a physical presence in the streets is so critically important for to show our strength in numbers, to create obstacles to the status quo, and to bring us together in solidarity, yet it can be a risk that many feel that they cannot take on. For people who are differently abled, have mobility issues, have invisible illnesses, are more likely to be targeted by LO, have an outstanding warrant or previous charges, have undocumented status, are suffering from trauma and/or anxiety, or are the primary caregivers for children, the elderly, or anyone else, the logistics and physicality of physical presence can be overwhelming. If you feel that you cannot participate for any of the reasons mentioned, or others, including fear of police incitement, targeting, and escalation, there are other ways to get involved. There is need for on- and off-site community care, legal observers, communications, amplification of online messaging, etc. in most public actions. Because physical action and work is often the most visible, those of us who feel that we can’t participate in one or all on-the-ground actions feel left out or that we’re not doing enough. There’s lots of work.

Professional Risk

Professional risk lives next door to social risk. When you begin talking out about things that you feel strongly about, and holding others accountable for justice and equity in the workplace, there may be consequences including denial of responsibilities, raises, promotions, networks, invitations for speaking, conferences, and on and on. Seek out support for your work within your professional sphere– a caucus, so to speak– to help you and others speak out and up. Expect that some will applaud your efforts, and other feel threatened. You may find that your fear of reprisal (particularly, the more privilege you hold) was overblown. If you see that others are facing consequences due to their advocacy for justice, make sure to support them both privately and publicly.

Emotional Risk

It is a risk to care. Our emotional health is taxed daily. This is on purpose. I first drafted this in cold, sunless January of 2020. Then, a friend needed rent money. The impeachment trial– which was ultimately toothless– was on the radio. Now it’s June and there’s a pandemic, and an uprising, and it is a time of emotional chaos. To make the emotional connection with our own trauma and lack of agency in this system is hard enough– to make emotional connections to support and heal one another can feel overwhelming. Yet, I’d encourage you to open yourself up to hearing stories that others wish to share about their own journeys. If you can access therapy, counseling and mental health support, go. If you have access, work to make sure that everyone has access to excellent, affordable/free mental health support. I’ve also come to realize the emotional risk of telling the truth to yourself about family, resources, relationships, etc. Reconciling your ideal values with your concrete actions requires emotional risk and work.

Legal Risk

When we recognize that the legal system is built for White Supremacy, we can choose to to push the boundaries of that system in service of Black Liberation. Our networks often include police officers, judges, lawyers, and their spouses, and other family. We get waved along during inspections. We get free consultations and payment plans. We get our privacy protected. We’re seen as respectable and safe. How do we extend protections? How do we use this privilege to smash the systems of inequity.

Financial Risk

Taking on more financial risk one of the most important and available opportunities to us with greater financial stability. Financial stability is NOT only having cash in the bank– lots of people with privilege are struggling to pay bills, and do not feel that they can give as much as they like. Wealth is not only money, but it is also property, networks of relatives, available credit, banking relationships, etc. One example of taking on financial risk is co-signing a credit card with someone who has no or poor credit history. It is possible to limit your financial risk, while helping someone access the benefits of a higher credit score. Assessing your threshold of financial risk could allow you to give more money, altering working hours in order to dedicate more time to unpaid community work, offer services on a sliding scale, etc.

To close, I’ll share this FB post from Scott Woods via Wear Your Voice Magazine

Speaking out puts you outside the pale of polite spaces. 
Speaking out costs you opportunities, gigs, and jobs. 
Speaking out suggests that you have time to waste, that you don’t have certain things. 
Speaking out costs you friends and lovers and camaraderie. 
Speaking out generates as much loneliness as it does attention. 
Speaking out makes you “that” cat. 
Speaking out means there are people you won’t get to meet once you speak, but who will have an opinion of you anyway. 
Speaking out makes you a target, makes you susceptible to judgment, makes you vulnerable to people and systems alike. 
Speaking out will dry up your associations and make you a pariah, force you to wear the scarlet tweet in your world. 
Speaking out may cost you your world. 
Speaking out makes an argument out of nothing, makes a fight last a year. 
Speaking out gets you uninvited to parties. 
Speaking out gets you invited to meetings that only want to co-opt your presence because speaking out makes them look like they’re speaking out too. 
Speaking out gets you dismissed, gets you fired.
Speaking out can make you poor. 

So if you’re out here arguing that someone speaking out doesn’t cost them anything, you’re probably wrong.

Community Matters: Lisa Woolfork

Black Women Stitch, Stitch Please

People sitting at tables. The people are a variety of races and ages. Most are women. They are all engaged in small group conversations.
Students and community members ordering food before Lisa Woolfork presents.

Lisa Woolfork presented at last night’s second “Community Matters”. I’ve known Lisa since the summer of 2017 when we were doing preparation and response to the white supremacist Unite the Right rallies. I’ve heard the origin stories of Black Women Stitch and Stitch Please before; each time I hear Lisa talk about it, she brings more layers and understanding to why this is such an important project for Black women and femmes.

Lisa is an amazing seamstress– she’s been sewing and quilting for over 20 years. As part her work she’d pay to go to retreats where she’d often be the only Black woman in attendance. Last night she talked about it took some traumatic events to make her realize that she didn’t want to be part of those circles anymore. Lisa talked about fear, risk, and regret that she didn’t act sooner. Some of my major take-aways from last night were:

  • It’s not the responsibility of Black people to educate White people about their microaggressions. Lisa disappeared from the White sewing community that she had been part of for 20 years and almost no one followed up with her to check in about her absence. It’s not on Lisa to get them to understand why she is no longer there. Lisa wants to create her own productive, supportive community.
  • It is unusual and special in Charlottesville for a Black person to be able to share their story and perspective to a mixed race crowd and for their perspective to be honored without question or gaslighting. I hope that we can grow these moments.
  • By Lisa sharing her full perspective– full of examples of strength and self-doubt, a space was created for younger Black women to share their own struggles and doubts, and to get validation from other community members of what they are achieving.
  • Lisa’s story is inspiring other Black women in attendance to create and further their own projects.

Guiding Questions for Improved Community Engagement

This is the work of Dolly Joseph, and should not be used without express permission and compensation.

Before Engagement

Before heading into a community– for an internship, volunteering, seeking employment, whatever, it’s a good idea to situate yourself in relationship to the new project. 

Feelings

Check in with yourself about how you are feeling– nervous, excited, timid, enthusiastic, apathetic… It’s okay to feel one or all of those feelings, and it’s also important to think about how the display of those feelings might be received by the community member(s) that you’ll be interacting with. 

  • What am I bringing to the community? 
  • How may I be received by this community? How do I feel about that? 
  • What will be challenging? What will be easy? 

Skills

It’s also a good moment to take a skills inventory of yourself. What do you feel like you know how to do well? What could stand some improvement? What skills are you hoping to practice or develop with this opportunity.

  • What am I bringing to the community? 
  • What relevant skills do I have? Is that enough? Where should I grow? 
  • What am I expecting to get out of this interaction? 
  • What am I expecting the community to get out of this interaction? 

Information

It’s important to understand the context of the community that you will be engaging with. Do you have the needed information to engage in a positive manner? Have you gathered information from trusted, accurate sources? 

  • What am I bringing to the community? 
  • How have I educated myself about the community? 
  • What assumptions have I made? Are those fair? 
  • What expertise already exists in this community? 

Resources

Resources can cut across these 3 categories– Resources can be related to access to information, time, money, emotional labor, etc. Often when we do community engagement in the form of volunteering we forget about the resources that are required to accommodate us as volunteers. It’s incredibly important to consider how resources are used when we engage with the community.

  • What am I bringing to the community? 
  • What is the balance between what I will bring to this community (skills, open-mindedness, readiness to work, etc.) and what I will take (time, energy, etc.) 
  • What is the community [giving/sacrificing/risking] by hosting/partnering with me? 

During Engagement

While you are within your community engagement, it’s important to consider how things seem to be going– both good and not-so-good. Remember, none of us are perfect. Often we get into the trap of thinking that there is no room for error. You will make mistakes, and then grow and learn from that practice. Reflecting and adjusting during your community engagement is a great way to improve your current and future experience. 

  • Am I effectively paying attention to direct and indirect communication? 
  • Am I engaging in effective, positive and/or productive interpersonal interactions? 
  • Am I using my skills in an appropriate, effective, and respectful way? 

After Engagement

Even if your most recent community engagement was a “one off” commitment, you will have another experience in your future. It’s important to reflect on how things went so that you can be more effective next time. 

  • How do I know if my interaction was a positive experience for the community? 
  • How did my expectations differ from what happened? 
  • What should I do to have a positive and productive experience next time? 
  • What skills or resources should I access to improve my effectiveness?

DART: Developing Anti-Racist Techniques

A 5-week course for white people to develop their skillset of anti-racist techniques for use in a variety of contexts, from interpersonal relationships to institutional change. Sessions are March 12, 19, 26 and April 2 and 9 from 5:30-7:00 at a downtown location. This course is for people who are committed to incorporating Anti-Racist Actions into their lives.  The course is $100.

Participants will:

  • Identify and lower individual barriers to performing anti-racist actions
  • Integrate more anti-racist actions into their day-to-day life

Participants will engage in goal-setting, facilitated discussion, observation and practice during the week, and debriefing. 

Topics to include:

  • Lowering Barriers through Identifying Risk.
  • Analyzing Resources
  • Inventorying Relationships
  • Putting Ideals into Practice

To begin registration: complete this Google Form.

Dolly Joseph, a white woman, wearing a black t-shirt is on the left. Toni Barskile, a Black woman, wearing a white t-shirt are pictured. Both are smiling.
Your facilitators: Dolly Joseph and Toni Barskile

Toni Barskile has been Black for 58 years in which she has attended prep schools in New Jersey, mastered White-approved “standard” English, figured out how to be perceived as “non-threatening” to members of the White establishment and teaching survival/ computer/ critical-thinking skills to Westhaven residents. Toni also works with the dialogue on race subcommittee on media relations, attends White Feather presentations sponsored by Trinity Episcopal Church, and provides web development/design assistance to the Truth Commission Ad Hoc Planning Group of the University and Community Action for Racial Equality. 

Dolly Joseph has been White and lived in Central VA all of her life. Her ancestors colonized landsof the Moneton and Cherokee peoples in the Appalachian Mountains; her family’s generational wealth comes from the exploitation of Enslaved People of African descendants near Calypso, North Carolina. Dolly is an educator and community builder and was once named one of the “4 under 40” women leaders in Charlottesville. Now that she’s no longer under 40, she’s petitioning for a new honor of “5 under 50” to be started. 

Toni’s superpowers include being able to call White people out on their ish without making them cry and the ability to identify structural racism in everyday situations and ways to dismantle it. Dolly’s superpowers include slicing to the heart of the problem, finding order and pattern in chaos, and getting people to do the thing they didn’t even know they wanted to do. Together, they will facilitate so that we will collectively be more ready to smash white supremacy.

BE is Dead. Long Live BE.

BE Hiking
Since 2014, BE has been magic. We’ve worked with over 260 young adults and children, including a core group of about 30. Two hundred community members have been involved. The entire model of BE has been based upon authentic connections, honest communication, and responsiveness to needs of all participants. We’ve worked to break down hierarchical models, and lockstep programming; we’ve formed an authentic community of mutual support and achievement.
BE Together: Batula and Frances
My life has been in major transition in the past year as my beloved mom, Frances, was in her final illness and died in July. During this time two tendrils worked together: the energy I had for BE was less, and the need for weekly gatherings for our high school and college age peeps was less as students graduated and moved to 4 year colleges and grad school out of the area. My focus has shifted; I want to support other people as they create their own communities and own work. I’ve reminded so many that you don’t have to have permission to do work, and you don’t have to have structures to do work. With that in mind, BE will not be continuing our Joint Partnership of Work with VO. This means is that we will not be soliciting tax deductible contributions. 
BE at the Diner
Even while we shift, the work of BE continues in so many forms. Laura and the Blue Moon Diner, our spiritual home, will be hosting community talks on Tuesdays beginning on January 21. These interactive sessions– open to you, our community– will highlight the work of community members that are building their own works. Ellen provides her mental health work both by providing free informal consultations and referrals to counselors who fit the needs of community members– including the ever-present financial piece. 
BE Swimming
BE is woven into our existence. Batula and I claimed each other as mother and daughter– even while she’s at JMU, my home is her home. When kids are in crisis, they call or text or visit us. Their friends and siblings fuss at them until they reach out. One of our younger members, Marissa, has begun her own nonprofit– Donor Diapers– and reaches out as she needs advice with her own thriving project. As I travel the state with Raven and his haiku slams, BE students join us in every city that we go to. It’s so great to drive to Richmond and see Onai and Bakar– to go to Roanoke and see Breyanna and Kimani. I run into delightful junior members like Phin, Sam, Janiya, and Juliet and their youth and energy almost trick me into doing regular events again. Cliche and I worked on a project around community members’ interactions with the police. Zongwe and I work together most Mondays beating back kudzu and other invasive weeds. These connections are genuine and long-lasting and don’t require a fiscal model to continue. 
BE at King's Dominion
There’s work to do, fun to be had, news to hear: Elie emailed from France and needs a cover letter edited. Zaw texted from Indiana, wanting to create a program to help Thai and Burmese folks access support. Dilara and Gouzal want a visit in NOVA. I dream of traveling to see Jackie in Hawaii and Thet in Myanmar. Corey reports to me how well Kadija is doing at her new job at the Montessori School. Valeria texts to tell me her semester grades. Htoogay continues with her studies. Jean updates me on his work life, and we discuss further goals. Bakar reports on his promotions at work. 
BE at BMD
Our young adult members are growing into adulthood. I could not be prouder of them. As I update my notes, I type “4 year school”, “graduated college”, and “grad school” again and again. These are Black and Brown kids, 1st generation college kids, 1st generation Americans, Young Women in the Sciences… While we never viewed the kids through the lens of their underserved identities, the reality is that they face more barriers than they should. 
BE Fancy
We will continue to amplify the work of others who are creating community and breaking down barriers. Donor DiapersBlack Women StitchSouthern Gothicc Futurist Haiku SlamsBridging the Gap, and Culinary Concepts AB are all works that we’ve supported this past year. We will continue to amplify the needs of our community. Redistribution of resources, reparations, and smashing hierarchical structures of discrimination and inequity are central to BE philosophies. 
BE Thankful
In the coming year, I will continue to support and consult on projects, particularly those led by Black people. If you would like to support me and my individual work, You can send payments to PayPal paypal.me/dollyjoseph and Venmo @dollyjoseph. I will also be launching a Patreon which will show my creative work, and writing about community building and activism. https://www.patreon.com/dollyofchange
BE CLAW
I appreciate your support over the years. The work that we’ve done with BE is one of the proudest accomplishments of my life. BE could not exist without the Steering Committee in its various shapes: Laura, Ellen, Davina, Toni, Mia, Batula, Marissa, Thet, and Jackie. The Donors and Advocates: Adam, Michele, Pat, Virginia, Ryan, Brandon, Bruce, Kim, Jim and Linda, Jennifer, Janet, Ceri, Tay, Bekah, Laura, Laura, and many more. And of course all the young people.See y’all soon.

Open Letter to College Students

I’ll be honest here. I’ve been a bit frustrated with some of my college-aged young adults recently. While I tell them that I am happy to edit papers at the 11th hour if the alternative is no editing at all, reading some of these last minute papers that they’ve admittedly rushed through push me into haranguing mode.

So here’s the tricky part. I don’t want to come off like I’m being insensitive to my students’ realities. Here is what I know. These young people are often:

  • juggling very busy schedules, replete with school, jobs, sports, and family obligations,
  • Dealing with challenging living situations, often with a great deal of transition,
  • Without a role model in the family who has completed college (or even high school) themselves.

So, with that noted, I remain annoyed.

Here are some challenges I throw down for my students.

  • Be your absolute best. If you’re going to college, and paying thousands of dollars, and likely mortgaging your future, you’d better make it worth your while. Demand the best out of yourself. Turn off the TV. Go talk to your professor. Stop taking selfies of yourself. Get out your agenda book and write down the due dates. If you don’t want to do these kinda small things, stop paying the college you and your parent’s hard earned cash, and start looking for more hours at your job.
  • Demand more from your college and your professors. You say your classes are boring. First ask yourself: Am I doing the readings? Am I participating in discussion? Am I doing the homework? If the answer is yes to all those questions, and you’re still bored, then talk to your professor, talk to your chair, and demand better classes. Are your texts racist? Probably. Does it promote a world view that you disagree with? Probably. Then supply some thoughtful, research-driven alternative work to your professor to supplement your reading list. But don’t be intellectually lazy. You’d better be reading or watching something other than TMZ.
  • Develop your skills. Nobody is interested in hiring someone who has been rubber-stamped through a degree. Here’s what you need to be effective in the larger world:
    • Communication skills. Know how to communicate with others using a variety of media– this includes face to face, email and social media. This skill is so that you can persuade people to do stuff for and with you.
    • Prioritizing. There is no question that the students that I work with know how to work hard. But increasingly I see them working hard at things that don’t make sense in the long game. It’s not “don’t have fun”; It’s don’t get stuck on social media for 12 hours and then tell me you don’t have time to fill out a scholarship.
    • Follow-through. From sending a thank you note to checking in with your professor about a test score, following up and following through makes you memorable, and shows that you know to how to see something through to the end.
    • Connecting. During college you have the ability to connect with other people– from the secretaries filing your paperwork, to the professors who are grading you, to your fellow classmates who can support you now and in the future. Figure out how to connect those people– using the skills listed above. Your connections make the difference in the world you will be making for yourself.

Here’s a secret. You don’t need to finish college to learn these skills. But you need these skills to finish college. You’re going to need these skills regardless of what you are going to be. And here’s what you’re going to be:

  • Business owners,
  • Lawyers,
  • Web designers,
  • IT specialists,
  • Prosecuting Attorneys,
  • Chefs,
  • Radicals,
  • Leaders,
  • Wonderful.

BE Accomplished: 6 months of Building Experiences

I began an experiment about 6 months ago. I decided that I wanted to work with young people. I decided that I wanted to do it in ways that felt genuine to me. I decided that I wanted to interact with the young people as a mentor, friend, and unabashedly myself.

I surrounded myself with friends who share similar values and who are also creating the world they want to exist in. We are working to create an inclusive and supportive community for our young members. We made some mistakes, but mostly it’s been joyous and fun. It doesn’t fit into our normal non-profit paradigm. Thankfully.

Scroll down to read quotes from students, see some raw data, and some lessons learned.

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Comments from BE Youth Members

Community dinners are special to me because I get to meet new people, learn about their jobs and what they do. It’s fun and you learn about other people and you get to know them.
–H.P. CHS Junior

You were helpful because you were keeping us on track and you were there to help us go through personal and school related problems… you actually directed some of us to go talk to our professors  and advisors…and you never ever for once give up on any of us…some of the time when we push other people away they will stop coming but you were always there.
–F.O. PVCC student

Ms. Dolly spent her whole morning helping me edit my research paper that was due within couple of hours. I hate to admit it, but I usually do my work last minute. I hadn’t started on my research paper that was assigned on the first day of classes, until few hours before it was due. I got a B though. I don’t think I can ever forget the all-nighters I spent fretting, and how with the help of Ms. Dolly I got a B. We were not expecting that at all, but we were both happy.
–D.U. GMU student

Being a part of BE gives me the chance to help others understand that being a mother is not the end of the road.
–M.H. Certified Nurse Associate, and Pharmacy Tech

Having someone to give you honest advice about college and other things really makes a big difference. I’m blessed to have so many wonderful people like you in my life who I can turn to, ask advice about certain things and can be sure that I’m getting a honest answer.
–M.A. VCU student

You put smile in my face, make me think about my future. Ask me what’s going to be next step, every Monday and it feel neat to be asked. I am thankful for that.
–B.O. PVCC student

You were a means of support for me personally and academically. You are always there showing me the way and the steps I need to take to get there. I know I can come to you for help regarding anything, and I appreciate that you are always there to help and listen.
–G.N. PVCC student

Summary of Services

Building Experiences has worked with 35 students this fall. All services are free to students, and to date; all work has been done on a volunteer basis. Our income has been $1705 cash donations, and about $785 in in-kind donations. Expenditures have equaled $1,440.53. Please donate to support our work.

  • We have shared meals with 68 community members, including 26 youth members in the months of December and January.
  •  BE held 10 check in sessions at PVCC and reached 23 students, including a core group of 11 students who sought BE out each week. Topics of discussion included transferring to 4 year schools, dealing with financial aid, improving relationships with parents, peers and professors, and how to balance school and work.
  • BE has provided help to 10 students with editing papers, college essays, resumes and/or cover letters, sometimes even at the last minute.
  • BE has hosted 5 special events since August. We’ve enjoyed EpiCroqueTournament, a long distance, mixed terrain croquet game, held a “Tool Day” where we built birdhouses and carved in stone with a dremel tool, constructed natural wreaths, and attended a multi-day Youth Conference featuring bookbinding, knitting, car-care, college prep and a falcon(!). We celebrated the MLK Jr. weekend by having a delightful walking tour of local, downtown businesses. 17 students have participated in these special programs.

Lessons Learned/Guiding Principles

This has been a glorious experiment, with no end in sight.

  • Reject the “rules” I’ve been instructed in my professional life to establish boundaries, keep my distance, be equitable and fair. And yes, in many ways these are sensible, protective measures. But they are so limiting. There are young people who need hugs, young people who need money, young people who need rides, young people who need to be told what is up. I think many of the rules put into our institutions are based upon fear. I reject that fear.
  • Play the long game Fiscal and academic years lull us into measuring progress with met outcomes and completed classes, but ultimately we’re raising people. People who need to know their stories, understand their strengths, and have a network of supporters. Sometimes there are issues that can’t be resolved in one month, one semester, or one year. There are so many people that we can gain inspiration from who kept persevering. We must give ourselves permission to slow the pace of our aspirations, and honor those who work towards goals years in the making.
  • Don’t let shiny gadgets distract you from the true magic  I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be an old school professor. I wanted to be an avant garde artiste type with shaped hair. I wanted to be a thought leader. What I love to be now is a connector of people, someone who helps dreams come true, people become their best selves. Occasionally I get offers or suggestions that divert me from that passion. Fame, prestige flickers enticingly. And then I remember that that is false promise, and what makes me happiest is knowing that I made one of these young people see and realize their potential. Finally I have found the focus that eluded this jack of all trades for so many decades.

Thank you to BE’s Partners, Volunteers, Donors
Blue Moon Diner
Frazier Family Foundation
The Local Restaurant
Virginia Organizing
Gibson’s Grocery
Camp Holiday Trails
Whole Foods
Denise Interchangeable Knitting and Crochet
Peggy Harrison
Sammy Kaplan
Vu Nguyen
EcoVillage Charlottesville
Mudhouse
Hedge
Cha Cha’s
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Building Experiences Steering Committee is
Laura Galgano, Ellen Krag, Mia Logan, Davina Fournier and Marissa Turner-Harris.

Dolly Joseph is the Chief Facilitator.

 

What are we going to do about college expense?

Dear Langston,

From beyond the grave, can you revamp your poem? Can you tell me about a dream half-attained? A dream that is invested in, quasi-delivered, and then sabotaged?

In the past few weeks, I’ve had 4 students tell me these stories of heartbreak:

  • 3 semesters of Criminal Justice at ODU, 1 semester of PVCC. $26,000 dollars of debt. ODU won’t release transcripts, won’t allow 1st generation, immigrant student to register. Student is treading water, taking classes at PVCC that probably won’t transfer.
  • 3 semesters of Social Work at VSU. 1st generation high school graduate/college student has dropped out partly because of money, partly because fears that the school won’t maintain accreditation.
  • 2 semesters at VCU. Another 1st generation college student receives bill for $6,000 for this semester. Her CHS teacher writes a personal check for $3,000. Student returns for spring semester, not knowing how to get the remaining $3,000 before the end of term.
  •  5 semesters in North Carolina. 3.4 GPA. There’s no more money for this semester. This junior is taking classes at PVCC. As an upperclassman, what can she possibly take that is helping her complete her degree?

Our system is broken. These 4 African American students have done what they are supposed to do. They’ve gotten good grades. They’ve stayed out of trouble. They’ve done what our schools have told them to do. They’ve followed the American Dream of pursuing their education. And now they’re returning home. Without degrees. Enslaved to a debt that will not be released by anything except their death.

We let them down. We’ve sold them a false bill of goods. We’ve failed them.

Here’s what I know:

  • In the past weeks, I’ve talked to every college professor, every financial aid officer, and every scholarship manager that I could get hold of. None of them have had any hope of a solution for these students. Well, kinda one:
  • I will be writing ODU a polite, but embarrassing, letter threatening to expose that they billed a student $5,000 for housing for a semester he didn’t attend. He’ll still owe $21,000, but I suppose that’s a start.
  • All of these students were encouraged (some required) to apply to multiple 4-year colleges.
  • All of these students, and their families, were unprepared to deal with the financial shenanigans of the schools and the federal government.
  • If I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t have a clue how to proceed. And I spent 10 years prostrate to the higher mind.
  • This is not their fault. This is not only their problem. This is OUR problem.

Here’s how to be horrible:

  • Push kids through a K-12 system that doesn’t adequately prepare them,
  • Stigmatize them if they don’t go to college,
  • Tell them the only way to get out of the ghettos we’ve created is to go off to college,
  • Have them sign notes for thousands of dollars, that’s not quite enough to cover all expenses,
  • Create an unhelpful bureaucracy that penalizes for any slip up (in fact seems to be facilitating slip ups),
  • Blame them when they are not successful,
  • Accept that they’ll be making minimum wage in the service industry.

What are we going to do about this? Some suggestions:

  • Develop a relationship with, and advocate for, a particular student,
  • Demand more funding for state universities,
  • Destigmatize attending community college,
  • Demand tuition decreases,
  • Stop degree inflation (does every job really require a master’s degree?),
  • Stage national student and instructor walk-outs,
  • Take education seriously as a human right
  • Question who does it serve to keep our youth (particularly our youth of color) uneducated and broke.